Labor of Love for baby Faith

I was almost a week past my due date and as most of you know, trying several things (mostly walking) to start labor because I didn't want to be induced and had a fear of the pain caused by pitocin (figuring I could handle natural contractions better, guess I will have to wait until next time around to find out). My midwife was sure I would go into labor anyway, and I read up on the risks of post date babies-Faith was not going to be large and only 5% of babies that even pass meconium ever breathe it in.

Wednesday night the 14th we got stuck in traffic from that tanker explosion on the 60 and I couldn't walk as much but apparently that's what it took because when we got home my water broke around 9pm. I told Jerry & we went to the hospital. I was frustrated that this was the way labor started because I knew I was bacterial group B strep positive (GBS), which meant even more than most women, the hospital would worry about infection and put me on a time clock: must deliver within 24 hours, I even considered waiting for contractions to start but Jerry wasn't comfortable with that.

This will all be important later but GBS is a kind of bacteria that naturally lives in adults' digestive tracts, and becomes elevated when a person gets a urinary tract infection (UTI). I was positive for it at 35 weeks while I was still working. The symptoms of a UTI are feeling like you have to urinate but not being able to go, so go figure a 9 month pregnant woman wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Dehydration makes it worse and I wasn't drinking much while I was still working. Once I was off work I drank a lot more and started urinating a lot more so I may not have even had it 6 weeks later when my water broke but there was no time to retest.

I had researched and a laboring woman who is GBS positive should have antibiotics to protect the baby 4 to 5 hours before delivery. Of course the hospital wanted to start me on an IV of antibiotics right away through a continuous IV. I didn't want that yet because I wanted to walk around so I asked if I could merely have the antibiotic without the IV and was told no, so I refused the antibiotic until my contractions started, figuring no baby is going to fall out without contractions. The doctor replied "If you want to have a home birth that's your business, but you're in a hospital." She checked me and said the same thing my midwife had said a week before: 2 cm, 90% effaced, baby's head at plus 1. I guess they figured if I refused the antibiotics it was pointless to offer pitocin so they didn't try. I walked around the 3rd floor of that hospital until 3am with Jerry's nephew Eddie & his girlfriend. One doctor commented that I don't even walk like a pregnant woman. Still feeling no contractions, I went to sleep from exhaustion.

At 5 am another doctor took over the shift and woke me up to tell me that I was risking my baby's health by refusing the antibiotics and I repeated my reasoning about the 5 hours before birth IV fluid and she said I could just have the antibiotics through my heparin lock every 4 hours & I said if they had told me that before I would've taken it 8 hours ago! They still declined to check my progress for fear of infection and said they would wait for contractions. Walked again for another 3-4 hours without contractions until at 9 or 10 am the midwife on shift checked me and said I was maybe 2 and a half cm. She also said that she could still feel the amniotic sac so I must have a high leak, like up by Faith's feet, so I asked if that was safer for infection and she was already breaking my sac from the bottom so I hoped that would help labor progress. At this time the fluid was still completely clear-no meconium. I asked if I could still walk while on pitocin and was told no. So I bit the bullet & figured if sitting in a car broke my water when walking wouldn't, maybe relaxing on pitocin will move things along, so I asked for a low dose.

Noon, lunchtime, nothing, please up the dose. 2pm, ok feeling a few contractions, maybe 15 minutes apart, up the dose please, oh wait, it's already as high as it will go? 3pm OH MY GOD MY BODY IS BEING SPLIT IN TWO THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE THAT SCENE FROM TWILIGHT & MY DAUGHTER WILL GROW UP WITHOUT A MOTHER!!!!! I tried moving, breathing, sitting on a ball, laying down...screaming & music...I remember asking to check my progress because now I was considering an epidural and wanted to be at least 4cm but they refused because of a risk of infection and said that my contractions weren't close enough together. Jerry said they were about 3-5 minutes apart. I remember a nurse saying that it doesn't matter what my progress is because if I can't take the pain I need an epidural...When she changed shifts I remember Grace saying "This nurse seems nicer" really loudly in front of the other nurse... Jerry told me his dad sent a txt joking that I should hold the baby for a few more hours so she could be born on his birthday & I yelled "Then he can come feel these contractions for me!!!"

After that it really goes blurry and I'm told I made a few zingers like when Jerry told me Faith would have my nose I screamed "I HATED MY NOSE IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!" I finally gave in to the epidural because I couldn't figure out why Jerry kept showing me a 3d ultrasound of a baby, slept in the minute or so between contractions, then I got even more confused by the same pic, then spent the minutes between contractions figuring it out and remembered I was in labor. I figured if I was this out of it I needed an epidural. it must have been around 5:30 because when the anesthesiologist came in around 6 and asked me about any health conditions I wanted to show that I still had my mental faculties so I told him I was in labor. Somehow I think it had the opposite of the effect I desired because he laughed along with everyone else. Jerry waited outside the door yelling support through the contractions while the anesthesiologist did a fantastic job because apparently I fell asleep while sitting up before they could lay me down again. Once I woke up enough to talk around 9pm I just felt frustrated to be confined to the bed with no ability to do anything but pray. God teaches us lessons in different ways for different people. I couldn't walk, pee or do anything but relax & let my body work while I couldn't even feel what it was doing (thank God!) We talked with the nurse who apparently had been offered the chance to be on the team that delivered octomom, but declined.

around 11pm they checked me and I was 6 cm...I was so discouraged-14 hours to go from 2cm to 6? But I will say that this is the one thing I learned for my own future reference...for some women being checked & told their progress may be an encouragement, but not for me. I sent a text to my family that they might as well go to sleep and told Jerry to let his dad know that he was going to get his wish about sharing a birthday as long as I didn't take another 25 hours...

So the nurse was going off shift around 3am & did the usual temperature, blood pressure, etc. She checked me (which surprised me because of the whole infection thing). She said "ur ready to have a baby!" & ran out of the room. I rolled my eyes & figured it was an encouraging statement or I was dreaming. She came back in with a cart, 2 other nurses, turned on all the lights & Jerry woke up & asked what was going on & she looked at me as if "U didn't tell him?" so I said, "She said we're having a baby?" so we both looked at her and asked something like "U mean NOW?" & she just seemed frustrated like we were not listening...I texted my sister & mom & Vanessa, Jerry's mom left so Vanessa could come in. The nurse told me that sometimes 1st time mothers have to push for an hour or more but to just push when I felt pressure...then I said "Oh, I've been feeling pressure sometimes and it's been waking me up" The nurse looked at me & shook her head.

I felt pressure & tried my 1st pushes & Vanessa said I was doing well, the nurse seemed surprised I was doing so well and called the doctor. They watched me for a few pushes and said I was doing well but were concerned that my oxygen levels & Faith's heart rate went down when I pushed, so they gave me a mask & put an internal monitor on Faith's head...Jerry said her heart rate went as low as 80.
 I noticed the doctor looked ready to cut an episiotomy if Faith didn't appear so I pushed past the end of the contraction. Vanessa said she could see lots of hair & Jerry tells me this caused him to look. Then the doctor said she had to cut the cord because it was around her neck so I waited, I thought I had to push the rest of her body out but then the doctor said there was thick meconium and pulled the rest of her body out and Vanessa said that she was really long. I couldn't see her anymore behind all the nurses and pediatricians-it looked like there were about 6-8...I just wanted to hear her or see something...Faith's color didn't look good to me, Jerry said he could see her arms move. Then she cried. Shortly after they put her on my chest in a blanket and she looked right at me. I can't even describe what relief & love I felt. Then they whisked her out of the room and some nurse popped up in my face asking me what race the baby was. Again, Jerry & I were completely confused....for all I know we picked Asian. I didn't see Faith again until around 3 hours later under a ton of cables & tubes, and that begins the story of Faith & the Catch 22 in the NICU....Oh by the way, final count: lose a 7 pound baby, a placenta, fluid & I gained 2 pounds since Monday...go figure