A mother's voice

My Grandma had the sweetest personality before she ever became a mother or grandma from everything I’ve heard. I grew up knowing her as literally the kindest person in the world to me. She thought everything I did was fantastic & never raised her voice or even used a firm tone of voice with me.
All daughters know that tone of voice that comes with our full first, middle & last name. By the age of around 12 we daughters have all learned to echo that frustrated tone when our moms don’t “get it.” Something like “Mooooom!”
So you can imagine my shock at the age of 13 as my Great Grandma had lived with my Grandparents for awhile & I heard that tone in my Grandma’s voice toward my Great Grandma “Moootherrrr!” I suddenly felt justified & said to myself, “Ha! See! Even Grandma gets pissed at her mom!” I even heard my mom in that tone with Grandma when she thought Grandma was spoiling us.
Years later, as my Great Grandma’s health began to fail, I heard another tone in my Grandma’s voice I had never heard. When Great Grandma didn’t hear or wake up right away I heard my Grandma get close and quietly whisper pleadingly “Mama, mama please wake up!” It broke my heart. I never thought of my Grandma as a daughter who needs her mom until then.
I realized that for all our fighting & stress, my mom is the one who cared for me when I was sick, when I had my wisdom teeth out, & when I had my knee surgery & I probably used that tone well into my twenties. Last week, I heard that tone in my mom’s voice as my Grandma was slipping away. Please appreciate your mothers while you have them.

Grandma Faith

My dear Grandma Faith is an amazing woman who more than lives up to her name.
She has been bedridden for about a week & was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer. She will have a hospice nurse at home to manage pain.
She's been joyfully in love with my Grandpa for around 66 years. They've been such a blessing to me, my brother, sisters & cousins. I regret that I haven't made more time to call & talk while her hearing was better. I'm grateful for the small blessing of a window of time to talk with her & discover things I may not have ever learned otherwise. If you have elderly relatives, please encourage them to have exhaustive check ups including scans regularly. Please do not to attribute failing health solely to old age. Fitting to her personality (before the diagnosis) as she was rapidly losing energy, weight & appetite she said "My body is just getting me ready to meet Jesus face to face."
Some of the things I learned are that although her temperament is so much calmer than mine, her teenage years were spent in activities very similar to mine: running around to different youth groups & church activities all piled in a car together with many friends. (That's where she met my Grandpa when they were 16. She thought he was 13!) Some of her friendships were so similar to those I have now.
Although I had heard the story of her 1st kiss with my Grandpa, (which is that he wagered he could kiss her without touching her & then paid up when he lost,) I had not heard about how Grandpa proposed. Again, her response encapsulates her personality: When WWII was just ending my Grandpa was turning 18 & wanted to enlist while the GI bill was available. He had been dating my Grandma for 2 years (or so) & as he was bringing her home one night he was explaining this (Grandma said she had a feeling he was leading up to "something important.") He finished with "so when I come back I'd like to marry you." She smiled, nodded & quietly said "Oh. Yeah- that would be nice."
Instead of marrying her when he got back, they married in 2 weeks (at East Whittier Friends Church) before Grandpa left (at the behest of her father). Then Grandpa left for 2 years to have fun paratrooping in Japan. When he came back they started a family right away & by my age, she had 3 kids. wow! Even though she forgot my mom at the beach when she was 2 weeks old, (from what I hear,) she was a supermom of grace, tenderness, tirelessness & mercy, much of which I experienced personally.
I remember her running around the kitchen Thanksgivings. When we finally sat down to pray we'd watch her jump up & exclaim on her way back to the kitchen "I always forget the dinner rolls!" My Grandpa might have been the "fun" one who told all the stories, but my Grandma cared for me when I had my wisdom teeth removed & sat for an interview with me for my high school psychology class. I tried being a smart ass by explaining my teacher had told me that “70% of the people over the age of 70 are still having sex,” only to be traumatized by her thoughtful reply, “well, I'm kinda tired for tonight, but that never stops your Grandpa."
She cared so tirelessly for her own mother (after whom I am named) until she could peacefully rest at 98 when I was just graduating high school. In my selfish immaturity I was disappointed that Grandma Elizabeth didn't make it to my high school graduation when I should have been thankful to have spent so much of my life hearing so many great stories from a healthy woman in her 90's. It never occurred to me that my children would not have the same blessed opportunity.
When I was in college I returned one Thanksgiving (like many others) with a load of laundry & Grandma Faith taught me 2 valuable lessons: 1) clothing tags have instructions for how each item should be washed & 2) have a servant's heart. After she said I could use the washing machine I dropped a load off & went to check my e-mail (or something). Grandma tracked me down asking "According to this tag it should only be handwashed & the kitchen sink is occupied so do you mind if I use the bathroom sink? Is there a special soap you want me to use?" Even this last week when I visited & brought dinner I had to convince her that when she was my age, she was capable of bearing & caring for 3 children & would never have allowed her Grandmother to serve her.
I'm going to model my wedding gown for her Friday. Please pray that I can bring joy & not further regret or sadness into their home. I am so glad she has been able to meet Jerry. I only pray I can be half the woman of Faith she is.